Wednesday, April 4, 2012

"Babies have big heads and big eyes, and tiny little bodies with tiny little hands. So did the aliens at Roswell! I rest my case."

       The other day in the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf parking lot I saw this:

        What does it mean?
        Are they saying not to put babies in the dumpster? It seems fairly obvious that you aren’t allowed to put babies in dumpsters.
        {You aren’t even allowed to leave them at fire stations anymore, right? Or maybe you can as long as they’re really little. Remember when Nebraska finally passed a Safe Haven Law in 2008 (the last state to do so, I believe) and forgot to specify an age limit for the kids you could abandon at hospitals and Fire stations? That was HILARIOUS. And kind of pathetic, too.}
        Is the sign telling babies to stay out of the dumpster? Because babies can’t read. And even if they could read, it would be almost impossible for them to climb up high enough to get into the dumpster. And if they could read really well and climb really high, they’d be smart enough to know that it’s no fun to play in garbage.
            I’m going to look into this. Maybe it's some creepy secret gang symbol between babies. Baby gangs. But probably not, so I'll do a little research. More on this later.

            An additional theory is that someone started a club in the dumpster and doesn't want babies to join. You know, like instead of "No girls allowed!" it's "NO BABIES." Only big kids and grown-ups. Eh? Eh?

*William Shatner. I know it doesn't have much to do with anything I wrote here, but I think it's funny and so there you go.

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