Thursday, November 28, 2013

"Eat that turkey all night long, 50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong. Turkey lurkey doo and turkey lurkey dap, I eat that turkey then I take a nap."*

   Happy Thanksgiving!

   Oh wow. It’s been so long since I’ve blogged.

   I’m sorry.

   I wanted to write tonight because it’s my favorite holiday! But also because I’d like to ease back in to the blogosphere without drawing too much attention to the fact that I’ve been totally AWOL for a month. Only my loyal reader will know this (thanks, Mom), but I still feel like an apology’s an order. I’m sorry.

   I turns out graduate school is hard, which is funny, because I always thought graduate school was for people who didn’t feel quite ready for the real world. But, oddly, graduate school is much harder than the real world in many ways. One of the ways it’s harder is that you have to work in groups a lot (at least, with advertising projects you do) and I’ve never been great at playing well with others. So that’s hard. Also, you’re only in school for about 6-8 hours a week, but when you’re not in school you’re working on school for about 35-60 hours a week. So that’s a little bit hard, too.

   I’m in no position to tell you one particular story today but I will tell you what I’m thankful for and a few things that have been on my mind over the last month, and hopefully in the next couple of weeks I’ll be a better blogger (if not a better friend, student, or person).

1.  I think Stephen King based Misery on Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? I’ve been thinking about this since Halloween, when Momma and I watched it. I don’t think I have to spell this out for you but consider this: a once-famous person is now wheelchair bound and at the mercy of a crazed psychopath who tortures her but also really wants her love and approval. Also, she is fed weird things and often starved. Hmmm…

2.  Along those same lines, I recently picked up a copy of Jackie Collins’ Hollywood Wives at the local Goodwill. I didn’t know it was erotica, and I’m not entirely sure Jackie thinks of her “novels” that way, but good lord there was a lot of sex in that book. But I read it all, of course. But while I was reading it I started thinking that Claire’s mother in Troop Beverly Hills was supposed to be Jackie Collins. Remember that part when they’re sitting in her fancy sports car and her mom says into her tape recorder, “He saw her underthings and then…” she turns to Claire and says, “Then what?” And Claire says “Felt his manhood rising to a frenzy?” And then the mom says, “And felt his manhood rising to a pulsating frenzy.” And then she’s super proud of her daughter? I think she’s supposed to be based on Jackie Collins! Wow, that was a long story for no reason.

3.  I think the word “cute” is really condescending unless you happen to be a small child or a rabbit or other tiny animal. When I show someone a piece of art or something I wrote and they call it “cute” I feel like they’re telling me “That is so wonderful for someone under the age of 7. Good job, Lace!” It’s basically a slap in the face. On the other hand, it’s totally okay when used to describe an outfit. Hmmm…weird.

   Okay, well there’s lots more on my mind, but this seems like a good place to leave things off. I just took some of this:

   So hopefully my night will be turning back in my favor in the next couple of hours. I hope you all had a great November and a wonderful Thanksgiving and I will be back on board with this blog over the next couple of weeks.
   I'm thankful for Central Heating, turkey, gloves, heartburn meds, and friends and family. And a country that builds a whole day around eating and being thankful. And wine. 

*Adam Sandler's "The Thanksgiving Song."