Monday, May 14, 2012

"Was it Kierkegaard or Dick Van Patten that said, 'You label me, you negate me?'"*

    Here’s what’s exciting: I got a chalkboard. Or rather, I made a chalkboard and now I write things on it and take pictures of the things I write. Socrates (maybe) said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Does it necessarily follow that the un-photographed life is not worth living? Let’s hope not, because my photos (as anyone who’s been here before can attest) are horrible. But I’ve got some for ya!
The first thing I wrote on my chalkboard was obvious. The second thing was, "I need an eraser."
    I took the GRE today, so maybe I can calm down and focus on more important things now, but maybe not. Here’s the thing: I’m not entirely sure how well I did. They give you your verbal/quantitative (hint: “quantitative” is code for “math”) scores right away. Ah, the miracle of technology! But the two scores were disturbingly close together so I figure that maybe I did surprisingly well on the math or maybe I did surprisingly poorly on the verbal. Maybe I sucked at both. Maybe I aced it! I’m not really sure. I did some research online, but I’m still not feeling informed. The only thing we know for sure is that I don’t know anything (about figuring out GRE scoring).  (I think Socrates also said something extremely similar to that. Too bad I didn’t take a test on Socrates. Ha ha. I'm hilarious.)
Not that I'd forget the GRE. I just want to thoroughly document my life, you know?
    I thought I would come home from the test and feel elated and calm, but mostly I feel like an athlete who’s been doing steroids and just got off the field/court but is still amped up: warm and anxious and somewhat aggressive.** I feel like screaming or punching something. Weird? I don’t know. I know nothing, remember? (If you don't, see above.)
    It’s a short one tonight. I’m off my game. You're welcome.

*The quote is from Wayne's World (one of the best movies ever made). In the movie, the quote is spoken in Cantonese. But no one wants me to try to go there, right? In any event, it was Kierkegaard (and not the loveable star of Eight is Enough and Spaceballs), who said "You label me, you negate me." Thanks, Mike Myers, for making me do the research. I definitely would have assumed it was Dick.
**I actually got a steroid shot one time. I don’t think I mentioned this in bees part one or two, but something bit my eyebrow one night and in the morning my eye swelled up so bad I could barely see out of it. So I went to an Urgent Care center and asked if I was going to die, and the doctor said not to worry, I just needed a shot. Then the nurse came in and I rolled up my sleeve. But she said to bend over and pull down my pants. I was really confused for a minute. Shots go in your arm! Then I realized she was going to put the shot in my derriere (code for "ass"). All right, fine. Still better than a pap smear. But the shot made me sweaty and punchy and hot. Long story medium long, I liked it and I can see why athletes abuse steroids.


  1. You rock! Congratulations on your score!

  2. Thank you. And why are you still awake?

  3. Sheesh! This is twice now that you've dropped one shoe and NOT the other. What was your score on the verbal/quantitative section??