"Due to my general aversion to machines and a few pronounced episodes of screaming, I was labeled a technophobe, a term that ranks fairly low on my scale of fightin' words."

            Holy crap! January is nearly over and I haven’t posted anything in a week. I figured my New Year’s Resolutions would go by the wayside, but I thought it would take longer than a month. Oh well.

            But I have accomplished a few things. I’ve put a lot of time into studying for those graduate school tests. You know—the GMAT, the GRE, the LSAT, the MCAT, etc. Yeah, I figure I’ll apply to every program in every school in the country and just see who accepts me. Maybe by this time next year I’ll be a doctor. I know, I know, you can’t be a doctor in a year. But if I turn out to be like Doogie Howser, I might just breeze through all those pesky medical school classes and coast right into residency. (Isn’t it disturbing how often I mention Doogie Howser? I swear I never had a Neil Patrick Harris fixation, even if he is awesome. And we're both Leos and we're both from Albuquerque. But seriously, don't care about him.)

            In other accomplishments, I’ve taken up tea drinking and more or less discontinued alcohol drinking, which you would assume would make me more productive. And in a way it has, but I still have no clue how to manage my time, so note to those considering sobriety: it won’t fix your life. It’ll just free up a lot of your evenings. And then you’ll realize that drinking was sort of one of your weekly (or daily, in the case of some folks—NOT ME! I swear!) activities and now you have to find some new hobbies. One fun way I’m spending my time is on the toilet, as tea makes you pee ALL THE TIME. I guess my kidneys are grateful for the flush. And I’m also hoping 20 pounds will magically melt off my ass and my new hot body will be incentive to continue my quest for physical health. 

I've added some photos of my new hobbies.

              And lastly, I’m considering joining Twitter. I’m not entirely sure what Twitter is, and Facebook stresses me out pretty bad already, but I’m trying to be open-minded, if only for the sake of creating more readership for this damn blog. That way, if the blog makes me rich and famous, this time next year I won’t be a doctor and it won’t be a problem. Or at least I’ll be feeling really good about myself. One career I’m definitely NOT pursuing is computer science because I find it to be truly terrifying and utterly beyond my comprehension (as I know I’ve talked about in the past). The fact that I walked into a parked car while checking my email on my “smart phone” today just strengthens my opinion that technology is in many ways ruining my life.

            So that’s my update. It is one of my top priorities to stay tuned into my great ideas this week (month, year), so keep reading (when there are things to read) and enjoy the last day of the first month of the last year of the world (maybe).

            And since it is the last year of the world (maybe), I feel no shame in this shame(less) plug: subscribe to my blog! It will make us both so happy! Smooches!

*Quote from David Sedaris’ Me Talk Pretty One Day.

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."*

          Thanks to all of you who have been reading my blog. It means a lot to me, especially when I consider how juvenile and unprofessional it looks. But I’m learning to do stuff, and hopefully it will look better soon. Though it may not happen before the New Year.

            I want it to be pretty for you. And for me, too.

            I am slow when it comes to technology. And doing things. For instance, I just got my Blackberry synched up with my computer, even though I’ve had it for three weeks. I couldn’t understand why my email didn’t just magically know how to get into my phone. The phone may be smart, but I’m not.

Me now. Working on my blog.

            Technology is my one weakness! (Please picture me shaking my fist at the sky like a super hero.)

            Okay, that’s clearly a lie, but it does rank up near the top along with salty snacks and buying things for myself that I can’t afford.

            I went through college and three years of post-college “real life” with roommates who were technological wizards, and I didn’t realize how good I had it. Now, between my roommate and I, I’m the “wizard.” So you can imagine how hopelessly screwed we are.  Sometimes it takes me 12 minutes to figure out the printer’s not working because the USB plug is hooked into the Ethernet port (even though it doesn’t really fit in there). The fact that I even know those words is astonishing.

            I’m just lucky that my mom taught me not to put metal in a toaster while it’s plugged in when I was still pretty young. In many ways it's miraculous that I've lived this long.

            But this is a promise and a thank you. I promise I will make my blog more user-friendly (okay, Word is saying I should write “user-friendlier.” Can that be right?), prettier, and more fascinating in the New Year. And I thank you for reading this blog in its current condition. If you are reading this, I love you so much. Mental high-five!

Me in the future. Maybe by the New Year...

*Arthur C. Clarke is responsible for today's quote. He was a science fiction writer. He wrote 2001: A Space Odyssey. Cool!