Sunday, February 26, 2012

"You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mind."*

Moving Day Part I (Giving Thanks)
        I’m still awake! And still packing!
        Moving sucks in so many ways, but I was reminded today that I have some really amazing luck sometimes.
        The luckiest thing is that I have truly incredible friends. So thank you so much to my buddies Richie and Jerome and Jess and Tom for helping me move. I’m sorry I spent so much of the day pretending to lift things when in all actuality I was faking it. I think you would have found that if I’d suddenly let go of any given piece of furniture, your burden would have remained the same. What can I say? I’m all “woman power” until I’m required to lift something and then I go into “damsel in distress” mode or fake cramps. I suck, but you guys are rad.
        Thank you also to the powers that reign over us: karma or god or witches and warlocks or the Blarney Stone, etc, that I didn’t get a ticket for double-parking that U-Haul all day.  Or that I wasn’t arrested for sideswiping all those cars, people and dogs. Hallelujah! Or that it didn’t rain. (But a loud “Fuck You!” to that puddle at the bottom of the stairs. Not cool.)
There was an image not dissimilar to this on the side of my U-Haul.

        Thank you to Dave from whom I bought a refrigerator around 2:51 p.m. I’m so glad you lived on the first floor of your building, because it was one of the best things that happened all day.
        Thank you to Palermo for the sustenance: your pasta sucks, but your pizza and bruschetta are pretty rad. I think. I didn’t so much chew the food as inhale it, but my buddies tell me it tasted quite good.
        Thank you to Mother Nature for hooking me up with my period today. That was excellent timing. I’m just kidding: that sucked. And was made INFINITELY worse by having all my supplies at the wrong location at every moment. So this thank you is an extremely sarcastic one, just so you know.
        Thank you to new apartment manager Robert for making the signing of my lease last for a full hour this morning. That was time well spent! (Yes, this one is also sarcastic.) Here is a man who truly CANNOT multi-task.
        Thank you to the good people at Time Warner Cable who made my life extra, super difficult this morning by being completely incompetent. I look so forward to not having Internet for the first few days at my new apartment. It’ll be fun, I’m sure. I can just play tag in the courtyard with the little girls on the first floor. Or take long baths. Or learn how to meditate. No big deal. I don’t need the web. (Yep, this one is also sarcastic.)
        Okay, enough of my bitching. For now.
        Back to packing.
*More from "Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)" by Billy Joel. Which, coincidentally, came on the radio as I moved today.

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