"Oh, I love any book about vampires, werewolves, monsters, zombies, sorcerers, beasties, or time-traveling romances. And if I had an hour alone with Robert Pattinson, he would forget all about Skinnylegs McGee. I'll tell you that much."*

   I’ve been really off my game lately. I apologize for not updating you on the mundane bullshit that happens to me on a pretty much incessant basis, but I’ve been suffering from weird bursts of craziness lately. For instance, today I was dizzy all day for no apparent reason. And also, sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night and think for 15 minutes about why I’m awake before I realize that I have to pee. Then after I pee, I can’t go back to sleep because I’m convinced that I woke up to remember something important. But it was just because of the pee. I guess that’s better than waking up after I’ve peed. I’m also having trouble differentiating between what I’ve dreamt and what actually happened. None of it’s interesting, so I’m not sure why I care, but it seems to contribute to my self-diagnosis: I am a crazy bitch. Even my insanity pills don’t seem to help anymore. Maybe I’ve built up a tolerance.

   Anyway, I have a good post planned for tomorrow, but I wanted to write a little something here tonight so y’all don’t think I don’t care about your entertainment. Is that super conceited? I’ll probably over-think this one sometime around 5:45 a.m. and get back to you with my conclusions. Be forewarned.

   So, do y’all watch Parks and Recreation? It’s one of my favorite shows and I found this little “article” in the news US Weekly and thought I’d pass it along. As I did with Ice-T back in the day, I’ve hi-lighted all the sentiments I share with Retta. She’s a hoot. I'm also working out "25 Things You Don't Know About Me" like they have in US Weekly for a future post because it's so entertaining to spend a lot of time saying interesting things about yourself. Most of which make other people mad at you for wasting their lives with your inane garbage. It's probably especially awful when you're not a celebrity. But then, all of my posts are about me, so I guess I should probably not fill you in on how much you're going to hate a post I haven't even written yet.

Sorry for all the ink smudges.

 

*Retta as Donna Meagle on Parks and Recreation (Greg Daniels & Michael Schur, 2009).