"The way I feel about The Rolling Stones is probably the way my kids are going to feel about Nine Inch Nails, so I probably shouldn't torment my mom anymore, huh?"*

   I read a very informative article in O! Magazine last night that stressed the importance of de-cluttering your home and how that can help you be a better person and add simplicity to your atmosphere and make you more like Mother Teresa.

   I found it very useful because I am currently trying to streamline my life, both by doing things I’m supposed to do in a timely fashion and by physically getting rid of things (in most cases, for money). To that end, I’ve been donating lots of clothes to Out of the Closet (‘cause I love them) and selling things on Amazon and eBay (because they give me money).

   Tonight’s project is directly informed by Oprah’s life-affirming, eponymous magazine (and yes, I get why it’s called O! Magazine, but does she need to put herself on every cover?). I read in O! that if you put CD's in the trash or the recycle it’s somehow super harmful to the environment. And they also said something about how you should really get rid of your CD's if you’ve decided to go digital, because if you’re keeping them, you’re just contributing to your debaser hoarder instincts.

   While I hadn’t fully committed to a digital lifestyle, I figure it couldn’t hurt. I don’t have a CD player anymore, unless you count my computer. I play most of my tunes on my iPhone. (iPhone, iPhone, iPhone.)

   So tonight’s project involves uploading all my CDs to my computer so I can dispose of them in a humane fashion at this special place downtown (that is most likely located in some dark alley just behind Skid Row).

   I’ve started with my Purple CD binder, which includes all my musical scores, movie soundtracks, and homemade CDs from my friends (which are a pain in the ass, because iTunes never recognizes ANY of the songs on homemade CDs).

   I’ve had the Purple Binder since high school. I used to have a binder just like it, except the second one was silver. I kept all my favorite CDs in the silver one: my huge Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, and Beatles collections, but also an inexplicable number of Tori Amos and Ani DiFranco CDs (I was still an angry teen, after all).

   Once, during my sophomore year of college, someone broke into my car (I left it unlocked, so I guess really they just opened the door) and stole JUST the silver binder. And I was really offended. If you’re going to steal my CD's, I reasoned, you should take all of them. Not sit around in the parking garage and rifle through everything and decide what appeals to you. A worse thought is that maybe they did take both and then, upon looking in Purple Binder once they got home, they decided it was too lame and therefore I was lame and they should really give me back my stupid musical soundtracks. I can picture them looking at my Purple Binder CD's and laughing. Those people were and probably still are assholes.

   But I’ve been going through purple binder this evening and I have to say…there is a lot of garbage in here. How is it that I own not one, but TWO Weird Al Yankovic CD's? What is wrong with me? And sure, there’s great stuff in here, too: I’ve got scores to Singin’ in the Rain, Oklahoma, Guys and Dolls, The King and I, and Fiddler on the Roof. But I’ve also got the soundtrack to Bed of Roses, a particularly terrible movie that I only liked because Christian Slater was in it. But what in the world made me so desperate to own the soundtrack?

Weird Al times two. Creepy. And unintentional creepy camera effects courtesy of my inability to take pictures.

   I’ve got the single of Jann Arden’s “Insensitive” that was really popular in 1996. The Pulp Fiction soundtrack is good. The City of Angels soundtrack? Not so much. There are also the soundtracks from Michael (that John Travolta movie which I alone, out of everyone in the world, enjoyed…but again, I was 14 when it came out) and Batman Forever (which I think I bought because “Kiss From a Rose” was on it) and an Adam Sandler comedy album. Yikes. I suppose, if I were to rob me today, I would probably leave most of these CD's behind as well.

Purple Binder: 1998-2013. Pictured here with CD children.

   There are some good memories in this pile here, though. Aside from the homemade mix CD's (which we transitioned to from mix tapes somewhere in the early 2000’s…and I’m still sad about it), there is a copy of The Fugees’ album The Score. I remember walking from my house all the way to the Blockbuster Music (remember that short-lived business venture?) to buy that album, and I was terrified they wouldn’t let me because it was an “explicit” album and you had to be 16 to buy it. But I bought it, no problem. Except for the 2-mile walk (4 miles if you count both ways). And there’s an unbelievable amount of Cranberries albums in here, as well. And you know what? I forgot I ever liked them and I STILL DO like them and I may just give them a listen tonight.

   Okay, I’ll sign off. There’s nothing else in here that’s embarrassing or worth mentioning. Except Mary Chapin-Carpenter’s Come On Come On and Bone Thugs-n-Harmony’s E. 1999 Eternal. And the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack. And A Boy Named Goo by The Goo Goo Dolls. And I should probably stop now.... 

*Clueless (Amy Heckerling, 1995). 

**Equally creepy? I've mentioned Weird Al Yankovic in THREE blog posts. Shudder. What IS wrong with me?