Today I overheard an 8-year-old kid at Target say to his mom, “No one else in my dance class can do this!” Then he busted out some weird side-to-side move in his sneakers and they made squeaky noises on the floor and threw salt in his game and he had to stop. “Well, I can’t do it here, but when we get home I’ll show you.” Awesome.
But that’s not really what I wanted to talk about. I just needed to let it out because it put the world’s largest smile on my face.
I want to talk about the GRE. And in case you think that studying is why I’ve been M.I.A. for so long, you’re wrong, so allow me to disabuse you. I don’t want to prevaricate. I’ve been enjoying time with the wacky Rouse family and then, after they left, lying around feeling utterly spent, quiescent, and sad.
The GRE prep test has given me to believe that I am a borderline moron, and so I’m a little nervous. I’ve never thought of myself as capricious when it comes to learning, but those practice tests made me rethink my life. Here are some of the things I’ve done in the interest of boning up on everything I ever learned and then subsequently forgotten:
When my family was here in L.A., I dropped my mom and sisters off at 3rd Street Promenade and took my dad to the Getty Villa, as he loathes shopping and makes it unpleasant for those who love it. We walked around the Greek villa replica in Malibu for a while and then he suggested we study some of my math problems for the GRE. I think he may have been slightly more excited about it than I was. Math never broke his heart. My dad’s a great teacher, but the amount of information I don’t remember about math has desiccated most of my brain juice.
|Not a terrible place to talk Pythagoras and Euclid and shit.|
In addition to the half hour we spent on statistics, I have also worked on making copious vocabulary flashcards. I thought I wouldn’t have much struggle with the vocab portion of the test, being as how I’m such a big talker and like to fancy myself a writer, even. But there are words in there that I’ve never even heard of, let alone used! So I’ve had to go against my contumacious nature and try not to be so desultory about studying.
|My beautiful and super useful flashcards.|
But Math? Fuck you, Math! The bane of my existence!!! (I probably shouldn't use the f-bomb on Math or he'll find a way to punish me later.) Hooray, Math! Here’s what I remember about Math: adding, subtracting, fractions, and BASIC algebraic equations. Also, he was really mean to me in high school and cheated on me with all of my smarter friends. That’s so sad. What’s even sadder: the only reason I know fractions and percentages at all is because I love a good sale and I always tip at restaurants! I’m super inimical about Math, and I have to change my tune or this test might kick my butt.
But I will be a better blogger in the next week or so, if only to stay sane. On the menu: before and after pictures of my new apartment! Hooray! Also, I need a new camera and new hands, but I think everyone will still get the gist.
*Albert Einstein. What a pedant.